In several articles that I've read women found the most attractive quality they can find in a man is confidence. In this day and age many men lack in social confidence. There is a gap between being confident and being "cocky". A special lady friend of mine was telling me of an ex-boyfriend the other day who was a great guy, but she just wanted to get the heck away from him because he was too much of a push over,
In my experience I've watched a lot of men be assholes to women because somewhere along the line, they were taught that that is what women wanted. The thing is they really don't want that guy, they do want the nice guy, but they aren't attracted to them. The truth is so many nice guys have little confidence, they let them selves get taken advantage of, or they lack self-respect.
So you ask, how do I project this image of confidence, without being an asshole or fake? That is the question that I'm setting out to answer here. This isn't the easiest thing to do, and it really does take a conscious effort on your part, but it will be worth it as this could affect every part of your life.
The ability to command respect starts inside your mind. In order to have others respect you, you have to respect yourself. It really doesn't matter what you look like, or if you are the perfect weight, or how much money you make. When you close your eyes and shut out the rest of the world, how do you feel about yourself. Take a second and strip away all the titles that you have around you. If we based who we are on how others see us then we will never move forward. If you like what you see when you strip everything else away then move on to the next step otherwise figure out how to change whatever it is that is hindering you.
Liking yourself is so important, but so is being genuine. This is something you can not act out. If you aren't genuine, people will not respect you. So be who you are, this is actually something I've already talked about it is so important that you be you. Acts can become so ridiculous to watch and are often made fun of. Going back to what I said above, if there is something you don't like about yourself change it. Don't be a poser, be a man.
The hardest part for me when it comes to doing this is actually keeping my emotions in check. It is OK to be emotional, but don't go overboard with the outward display. If your emotional displays swing too far then you will not be respected as the person that you want to be. It is very hard to control the extreme emotions, especially when you are passionate about something. I have a bad habit of when something goes wrong I get mad, the tone of my voice goes up and I start on the attack. This is something that people will not respect. People respect those people who can show their feelings with out "freaking out". Throwing a tantrum will not get you anywhere.
Be respectful. When dealing with other people, consider their emotions and feelings. Measure everything that you say before it comes out of your mouth. Yet another issue I have, I often times let the filter go and say things that I later regret. The old adage goes, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." It goes a long way toward gaining respect from others. Human nature is to respect and like people who respect us. Measuring what you say is so important, in business, in relationships, and in life. Let your actions be your voice in times when there is nothing else to say.
If all your words and actions are negative, then people will dismiss you as a pessimist. So be happy, just a little thought for you to remember, you're still alive. That in itself is one thing that we can be happy about. As long as we draw breath then things can always get better. Try putting a smile on your face for no particular reason, it is good for your health. Laugh, in fact it has been proven that people who laugh a lot will live longer than those who don't. Spend each moment looking for the good in what you are doing and you can find happiness. This is something that you will hear much more on.
Finally, I am a firm believer that commanding respect is done best when you dress the part. Think of the people that you respect without ever talking to them. You see doctors in their lab coats, or soldiers in their uniform, business executives in their suits. I mention this because it is important to dress for success. If you are going out shopping you don't want to go out dressing like a slob. Dress like you have something important to do, that doesn't mean dress like you are going to an interview, but try leaving the sweat pants and tee shirts in the drawers and wear some clean blue jeans and a polo shirt. If you look like trash, people will not respect you like they would if they see you presenting yourself in a self-respecting fashion.
I'm not sitting here telling you this stuff to make you change your style, or to tell you how to live, but I can certainly tell you that these things are very true. I have experienced it and can say that when people really see the real you and you command respect, it is so much easier to go on to having the great life that you want. You'll find that people will look at you as if you are a big deal and that will help lead you to success.
