Apologizing

Today I'm going to tell you about something that I am not necessarily good at. I have said I'm sorry so many times in my life it is ridiculous. The problem I ran into was being sorry wasn't good enough. Now I can see that as being very true, in fact I can think of many times I was saying I was sorry based on an excuse, "I'm sorry I can't help myself..." etc.

This is the problem for so many of us, we say that we are sorry, but either we aren't sure about what to be sorry for or we aren't really sorry. If you want to live a great life it is important to know how to apologize to those you love. It isn't about getting all emotional about it, it is about being humble and knowing what you are saying.

The steps I try to take to an apology start with me figuring out exactly what I'm apologizing for. When doing this you have to realize your own actions, not just the circumstances. You have a choice in how you behave towards another person, and it really is that simple. When you hurt another person you typically are not taking their feelings into consideration. That is easy to do when you get angry or frustrated. Know what it is, if you said something that you shouldn't have then admit it, be prepared to admit that you were wrong.

The next thing you have to do is ask the other party to forgive you. This can be tough. When you do this, you will find that you are laying all the action from that point on to the other person. This takes a great deal of humility and bravery, they may not make the choice to forgive you. The words 'I'm sorry' by themselves carry no weight, they are a knee jerk response. If you never actually say those two words you'll be so much better off. Quit copping out and just do it.

Now here is the most important step, when and if the other party does forgive you, you have to NOT repeat the action that led to the apology in the first place, if you are truly apologizing, then you have to change your behavior. The only person who can change you is you. There is no motivation out there bigger than possibly loosing someone or something you love because you wouldn't change.

Sometimes we don't know that something said or something we do will hurt another person, but that is why we have to apologize the right way and then use it as a learning experience. If you don't know what it is like to have the heart ripped out of your chest then you will never understand what you might have done to the other party. When you do go through it, you will want someone to truly ask you to forgive them.

Next time I'm talking about forgiveness, so stay tuned for part two.